I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
