Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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