If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
I would fuck him just for his dog
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
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