Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
