I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
