READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
