She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
Randomize
