Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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