she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
