Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
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