Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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