New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Randomize
