That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
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