dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
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