Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Randomize
