bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
her vagine was all disorganized.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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