Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Randomize
