yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I want to be your penis for a week.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
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