Ambien. No doubt about it.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Randomize
