so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
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