I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize