you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
