5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
