Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
