I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
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