I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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