You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
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