Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
