i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Randomize
