WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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