idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
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