Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Randomize
