If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
