She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
sex in a hospital.. check
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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