I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Randomize
