yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.