I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.