uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
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I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
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I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe