I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??