He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize