Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
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I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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