roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
