Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
