Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Randomize
