She is in my trunk
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
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