And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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