This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
The convent might be a nice break from real life
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