Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Randomize
