I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Randomize
