And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
