So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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