Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
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