How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize
