okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
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