My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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