My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
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