Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
