I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
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