I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
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