I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
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I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
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I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
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