She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
