Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
I love you. Go after that dick
Randomize
