dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
She's like a pop up book from hell.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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