To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
