So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
